Right Humpster (Augmented)

Here goes Right Humpster, one of the tracks from the upcoming Cynicism Management release Tit Augmented, planned for about a year from now. Since I’ve now managed to make it two-thirds through the entire album (I hope to finish reworking the last four songs by the end of June), I’ll stop explaining what this little pet project of mine is all about. Should you be interested in the entire endeavour (and the reasons for it), click here for an elaboration.

CONTRIBUTORS:
Monika Fritz – vocals
Jan Urbanc – guitar
Borut Praper – drums, keyboards, additional bass & guitar

Music by Borut Praper
Lyrics by Borut Praper
Recorded, produced & mixed by Borut Praper
Vocals co-arranged by Monika Fritz
Mastered by Andrej Hrvatin

Track artwork by Matej Peklar
(Upcoming) album artwork by Matevž Praper

 


RIGHT HUMPSTER

Right, Humpster!
Do your nasty thing!
Be what you are!
Let the frolicking begin!
Her bulging eyes at three a.m.
I really wish I’d give a damn
My eyelids kiss
My upper lip
Indeed this is a vile routine

She’s watery eyed like frogs in heat
Ignoring me, my every plead
When bonecrumbed dump
Spills everywhere
Repugnant, yes! But it’s the end

Four-Circle Penile Substitute (Augmented)

Four-Circle Penile Substitute is the seventh track from the new Cynicism Management release Tit Augmented, planned for about a year from now. It is also the seventh song to appear in the book that it has actually been written and recorded for: Cynicism Managment (A Rock & Roll Fable), which will – because of the end of the world (as we know it) – NOT be published by River Boat Books next month as originally planned.

My publisher has let me know that he is, against all odds, still planning the book release for September. However, in light of the ongoing apocalypse, making any sort of firm plans at this time is pretty much wishful thinking, so we’ll all just have to wait and see what happens. In the meantime, I will keep tinkering away at these tracks. As reworking and remixing them has actually turned out to be a much more complex and longwinded process than I originally expected, the delay has, as far as I’m concerned, actually come in handy. Unnecessary haste would certainly not contribute anything constructive to this project – especially because I don’t only want to give these ten-year-old songs a “new coat of paint”, but instead reinvent each of them at least a little. As far as the following tune is concerned, I feel that this mission has been accomplished.

CONTRIBUTORS:
Monika Fritz – vocals
Jure Praper – lead guitar
Jan Urbanc – guitar
Borut Praper – drums, keyboards, additional bass & guitar

Music by Borut Praper
Lyrics by Borut Praper
Recorded, produced & mixed by Borut Praper
Vocals co-arranged by Monika Fritz
Mastered by Andrej Hrvatin

Track artwork by Matej Peklar
(Upcoming) album artwork by Matevž Praper

 More info about the whole project (and the reasons for it) is here.


FOUR-CIRCLE PENILE SUBSTITUTE

Such display of sound and vision
I’ve got what it takes
No indecision
I don’t make mistakes
I own highways roads and side streets
Alleys know my name
With utter precision
I’m driving them insane

I’m the smartest smoothest best
Way above you and all the rest
I stop for no one
I am like the wind possessed
Every day I rub and polish
That which makes me me
All I can wish for
And everyone can see

All my life I wanted these four circles
Greeting me each day, greeting me each day
All my life I wanted these four circles
Taking me away, taking me away

Then one day some stupid cunt
Dares to make me swerve
I stop for no one
Damn she’s got some nerve
Then the circles of my life
Get stamped into my head
Now I’m the greatest
Even though I’m dead

Whence She Came (Augmented)

Whence She Came is the sixth track from the new Cynicism Management release Tit Augmented, planned for about a year from now, that I managed to rework and remix… So I’m halfway through, yay! It is also the sixth song to appear in the book that it has actually been written and recorded for: Cynicism Managment (A Rock & Roll Fable), which will NOT be published by River Boat Books in a few months as originally planned because of the end of the world (as we know it).

It is a rather “rude” track with what can be interpreted as a creepy ending, appearing in one of the many thoroughly politically incorrect chapters of the novel it was written for. However, I’m pretty sure it’s awfully cute if you happen to know what it’s about. Hopefully it’s even nicer now that it hopefully sounds a bit better than it did ten years ago.

CONTRIBUTORS:
Monika Fritz – vocals
Jan Urbanc – guitar
Borut Praper – drums, keyboards, additional bass & guitar

Music by Borut Praper
Lyrics by Borut Praper
Recorded, produced & mixed by Borut Praper
Vocals co-arranged by Monika Fritz
Mastered by Andrej Hrvatin

Track artwork by Matej Peklar
(Upcoming) album artwork by Matevž Praper

 More info about the whole project (and the reasons for it) is here.


WHENCE SHE CAME

From whence she came?
It was easy to detect
Wisping pungent air, traces trailing
From whence she came?
Whiffs of heavily lagging scent
Remnants slowly fading
Like a bitch in heat
All made up flawless painted glossed
Lined groomed tanned and flossed
They always knew
From whence she came

From whence she came?
She’d be nice for some action
Short of mental interaction
From whence she came?
She would serve for some blowin’
‘Cause a mouthful is a mouth shut

When they came

They came

When they came
I heard a scream through the ceiling
And I nursed a gnawing feeling
That by the time her skin got peeled away
What was left of her was bloody insane

Tit (Augmented)

Tit is the fifth track from the new Cynicism Management release Tit Augmented, planned for about a year from now. It is also the fifth song to appear in the book that it has actually been written and recorded for: Cynicism Managment (A Rock & Roll Fable), to be published by River Boat Books in a few months.

More than ten years ago, Monika, the voice of Cynicism Management, decided it would be a good idea to study growling. This is one of the results of her artistic pursuits. And yes, she could do it live on stage as well, which was something that people would usually not expect.

CONTRIBUTORS:
Monika Fritz – vocals
Jan Urbanc – guitar
Borut Praper – drums, keyboards, additional bass & guitar

Music by Borut Praper
Lyrics by Borut Praper
Recorded, produced & mixed by Borut Praper
Vocals co-arranged by Monika Fritz
Mastered by Andrej Hrvatin

Track artwork by Matevž Praper
(Upcoming) album artwork by Matevž Praper

 More info about the whole project (and the reasons for it) is here.


TIT

TIT

Tit tit tit tit

There’s a tit every morning
Stalking my TV
And the girl who does the weather
Wears tits for all to see
Then some bitch pretends to sing
In a see-through gown
While I fight back stomach acid
Trying to keep it down

But holy crap I’ve got to see
There’s a tit on my TV
I must see
I can’t see
All the crap tit sells to me

Then I go and grab a beer
Promoted by a tit
I’ve heard beer’s good for mother’s milk
So I think, well, that’s it
Of course the john’s adorned with tits
To get me in the mood
If only they were flesh and blood
I’d grab them if I could

When they’re done with selling
Shit by means of tit
They unveil a juicy butt
I like it, I admit

The End of the Vilewood Road (Augmented)

The End of the Vilewood Road (Augmented) is the fourth track from the new Cynicism Management release Tit Augmented, planned for about a year from now. Although it is the final track on the 2011 album “Tit” by Cynicism Management, it is also the fourth song to appear in the book that it has actually been written and recorded for: Cynicism Managment (A Rock & Roll Fable), to be published by River Boat Books in a few months.

I must say this was not really my favourite track on the Cynicism Management’s 2011 debut, nor was I particularly keen on performing it while the band still had a live line-up. Quite unexpectedly, however, the recent process of “augmentation” was loads of fun and far less tedious than I expected: I laughed out loud more then once while rediscovering all the fine kazoo and guitar contributions by our guitarist at the time, Aljaž Tulimirović. The mix and the overall “dramaturgy” of the track is therefore significantly different from the original: I pushed Aljaž’s contributions and many details forward, made it “move” more, and reworked the whole thing. Everything sounds much better and more interesting now, if I may say so myself. The track thus transformed from an “album filler” to the distinctively psychedelic final diatribe it is supposed to be. Admittedly, it is still a wee bit longwinded… But it will be the final track on the Tit Augmented album when it’s released, so I let it be.

CONTRIBUTORS:
Monika Fritz – vocals
Aljaž Tulimirović – guitar, e-bow guitar, kazoo
Jan Urbanc – guitar
Borut Praper – drums, keyboards, additional bass & guitar

Music by Borut Praper
Lyrics by Borut Praper
Recorded, produced & mixed by Borut Praper
Vocals co-arranged by Monika Fritz
Mastered by Andrej Hrvatin

Track artwork by Matej Peklar
(Upcoming) album artwork by Matevž Praper

 More info about the whole project (and the reasons for it) is here.


THE END OF THE VILEWOOD ROAD

Go to the end of the Vilewood road
Where kids end up as food for foxes
Right to the end of the Vilewood road
Where garbage dreams of metal boxes

Come to the end of the Vilewood road
Let old knotted pines lure you astray
Here at the end of the Vilewood road
You’ll peacefully blow your mind away

Away

Cobwebs peeling your eyes out
As you miss a roundabout
Murders crimes and tyres cut
Titties of your test drive slut

All along those Vilewood lies
Whispered by the cat’s corpse eyes
Titties of your test drive slut
Complement her naked butt

Come to the end of the Vilewood road
Let old knotted pines lure you astray
Here at the end of the Vilewood road
You’ll peacefully blow your mind away

Away away

Rick Harsch: The Manifold Destiny of Eddie Vegas

I won’t conceal the fact that I know Rick Harsch – the author of The Manifold Destiny of Eddie Vegas – personally. What’s best about that – apart from being able to enjoy Rick’s sunny disposition and roguish good looks first-hand, of course – is that sometimes he lets me read his work before it’s published. So I happened to read Eddie Vegas more than four years ago (judging from my history on Goodreads), but, of course, the lazy slob that I can be, I didn’t bother to write a review. The convenient excuse that I told myself was that I found it just the tiniest bit weird to express opinions about an unpublished book. Which is true, but still: now along comes Eddie, having recently been published by River Boat Books – which is fabulous news, as I’ve always cheered for this novel – and I’ve wound up owing Rick a review all this time later. Which worries me, because I usually don’t remember what I had for lunch yesterday.

I’ve started writing this worried that rummaging through my mind for things I remember about Eddie Vegas would be frustrating – and yet, completely unexpectedly, I find myself remembering all these vivid details for some reason. As this is, sadly, definitely not true of every book I happen to read, apparently Eddie has made quite an impression. So let me see what I can remember from more than four years ago.

The Manifold Destiny of Eddie Vegas is a formidable tome in terms of length and complexity, yet it reads effortlessly, smoothly, and very quickly – especially once you get the hang of Rick’s trademark linguistic stunts. I’ve had the fortune of reading much of what Mr Harsch has written, and I don’t suppose he ever disappoints in this regard – but I found that Eddie was truly on (a yet) another level. Still, I don’t feel that Rick ever crosses that fine line between good taste and gratuitous fanciness: while he is indeed an impressively eloquent linguistic delinquent, he is also as hilarious as he’s unrelenting. And his lists, for crying out loud, the lists! They are poems, really: from dirty, drunken ditties to dazzling diatribes such as the horrendous thirty-page list of moronic, imbecilic, and idiotic names – truly pure-blooded American names – for doomsday devices. What am I going on about, you ask? Well, Rick approaches the rather sensitive subject of nuclear tests with the immediacy of a battering ram: instead of wasting any time yammering about it, he just hands us a list of names of each individual nuclear bomb that Americans have ever blown up on their own soil. There is a truckload of them – the list goes on forever – and seeing so much human idiocy in one place is about as bizarre and disturbing as watching the news or checking out your favourite social media stream.

However, Eddie Vegas is undoubtedly far from being all fancy bells and whistles and no substance. Four years after I read it, I still remember it as a magnificent, intricate, urgent spectacle spanning two continents and multiple timelines, a political thriller, a (noir) crime novel, an absurdist comedy, a love story, a drama, a poetry collection, a dictionary of languages forgotten and newly invented, an epic historical novel, and even a Western (I haven’t read a Western as good as parts of Eddie for a very long time, if at all) – all of this at once.

In short, Rick Harsch’s newest novel is not only a treasure cove of language porn – it is also a narrative rollercoaster, artfully fashioned by a whimsical narrator you simply can’t help admire even when he gets intentionally annoying. In times somewhat different than the current age of Twitter tweets and rampant split-second attention deficit disorder I can easily imagine this becoming a part of the canon. Kids in secondary schools and universities all over the English-speaking (or English-learning) world could easily be pestered with this instead of Finnegan’s Wake, for example – only that in case of Eddie, they might even be interested in making it further than the cover.

 


 

The Manifold Destiny of Eddie Vegas is NOT available on Amazon. It can, however, be ordered directly from the publisher, River Boat Books, which kindly offers two links: head here for U.S. purchases; and here for international orders (everywhere except the United States).

Iniquity (Augmented)

Iniquity (Augmented), the third track from the new Cynicism Management release planned for about a year from now, has been released on SoundCloud.

It is still one of my favourite tracks from the first Cynicism Management album, Tit, (i.e. a small bird of the paridae family, of course), which I am “renovating” for its 10th anniversary re-release, titled Tit Augmented, planned for about a year from now.

I have no idea why I was under the impression that this one would be easy to mix. Instead it was excrutiatingly tricky to get it where it is now, and it ultimately turned into an epic monstrosity with tons of automation as I tried to squeeze every ounce of dynamics out of these ten-year-old tracks while fitting in the new drum takes and making everything sound better (and more audible). In the process, I ended up changing the “dramaturgy” of the song considerably in comparison with the original track, and I must admit I’m very happy with the result. That, of course, is a subjective opinion. More realistically speaking, I hope it’s pretty decent now and that I won’t have to rework it yet again in another ten years.

Monika Fritz – vocals
Aljaž Tulimirović – guitar, bass
Jan Urbanc – guitar
Borut Praper – drums, keyboards, additional bass & guitar

Music by Borut Praper & Aljaž Tulimirović
Lyrics by Borut Praper
Recorded, produced & mixed by Borut Praper
Vocals co-arranged by Monika Fritz
Mastered by Andrej Hrvatin

Track artwork by Matej Peklar
(Upcoming) album artwork by Matevž Praper

 More info about the project (and the reasons for it) is here .


INIQUITY

Put me up and put me down
Mercy fuck me then turn around
Ready-made as I serve any whim
Then I’m disassembled
Limb from limb

Sometimes when I snap
I turn on you
You cross the line
I cross it too
I feel disdain
You feel the pain
Again

I’ve been had you took the piss
But made me feel I have been amiss
I’ll just leave you to bleed to death
And you’ll thank me as you
Gasp for breath

You are lying
So I keep prying
I swear
I will hunt you down
Won’t make a sound

Abruptly I can see this might be iniquity

Maybe we could all agree
that this might truly be iniquity

This might be iniquity

Life Malignant (Augmented)

Life Malignant (Augmented), the second track from the new Cynicism Management release planned for about a year from now (for – blimey! – already the 10th anniversary of the original Tit), has been released on SoundCloud. Vocals: Monika Fritz. Shitstortion™ guitar: Jan Urbanc. Mastering: Andrej Hrvatin. Track artwork: Matej Peklar. Album artwork: Matevž Praper. More info about the project (and the reasons for it) is here .

LIFE MALIGNANT

Every day and every weeknight
I get more cancerous
Each endeavour every stage fright
Gets me cancerous

Every weeknight
Every stage fright

Every time I close my eyes
I get more cancerous
Sometimes I get caught by surprise
And get more cancerous

Every weeknight
Is the same plight

Sleeping pills say let go
But reason murmurs don’t know
It’s out there stalking me
And it wants me cancerous

I’m complaining whining pining
Pondering this curse
But I go on, although declining
Shitting long-shat turds

Every weeknight
Everyday plight

E-book update & release

The novels Cynicism Management and Pendulum Pet have both been updated and released in most e-book stores. Pendulum Pet, previously exclusive to Amazon, has now been removed from Amazon out of solidarity with my new U.S. publisher River Boat Books, and both novels are now available, in electronic form, in most e-book stores except Amazon. The price of both books has been set to $ 3.99. Find the universal book links that will take you to the lists of all the stores the novels are available in below each cover.


Available in the following e-book stores


Available in the following e-book stores

Touring My Backyard (Augmented)

Touring My Backyard (Augmented), the first track from the new Cynicism Management release planned for about a year from now, has been released on SoundCloud. Head here for detailed information about the project (and the reasons for it).

TOURING MY BACKYARD

When I was just a boy I yearned to rock n’ roll
But I didn’t realize I was living in a hole
Then I grew a tiny bit, my vision kind of cleared
I popped a beer, caressed my cage and never really feared

Now I’m the coolest guy around, the only god with such a sound
I sell my twopence sermons every day
My nails are black my eyes are lined my pants are tight oh I’m so fine
I gloat in dismal dismay and decay

I rented the only touring bus in this godforsaken place
And published in every goddamn paper I was touring my own space

Oh wow yippee my gosh and gee
I’m tourin’ my backyard
Rolling over my own mower
Bellyfolds o’ lard
Mounted mirrors on the walls
My backyard’s looking big
I’m bouncing reeling falling over
My excessive concert rig

In the mornings my head hurts, my double visions spin
But I know well that I’m the One so I embrace my sins
My proud dadland needs me to flash her stardom smiles
Distract the nation with pretence, wallow in shit piles

From the mountains to the sea
I sing my three-chord symphony
Nameless crowds beneath my feet
Look up at this astounding deed
My hair receding down my spine
But I still make these corpses mine
Dancing deaf to shit I spout
I dread what I have figured out